Closing One Door, Opening Two Others

If you’ve been following this blog and are reading this, congratulations! You came through our wedding and first few months of our marriage with us! I hope it was a good ride for you. However, it’s time to lift the lap bar and exit to the left.

We’re boring now. We’re not BORED, but we’re just not interesting or part of “The Now” anymore. We work, we sit in our room and play video games, we sit together on our separate devices and surf the web, we go out to eat, and we occasionally do something exciting, like go to Mega Replay and buy a Blu-Ray.

And you don’t want to read about that stuff.

You DO want to read my other blogs though:
Clever Girl
Poetry Is Lame

They are exactly what they sound like. The poetry blog gets updated a little more regularly though. “Clever Girl” is a bit more general as far as content. So pick one (or both) and subscribe today!

Thanks again for being readers and commenters and contributors through our wedding adventure. It was fun, and I’d do it all over again just the same way as last time. Hope you enjoyed it as well!

~Meg

Photos!

We got a disc full of marvelous photography of our wedding and reception from Kelly several weeks ago. Okay, okay, months ago. I am just now going through the arduous process of putting them on Facebook.

I was toying with Flickr for a while. I used to fancy myself an amateur photographer in the earlier days of my relationship with Jay. Nothing came from it, but I can look back on my photos (particularly my ones where I endeavored to make 100 cranes and photograph them. I think I got to 67) and enjoy memories of the past.

So, if you are friends with me on Facebook, keep an eye out for a new album containing some of the highlights of that day in October. If you are not friends with me on Facebook, we should fix that. OR, content yourself with this preview:

 

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Adventures In Cooking

Some night last week:

Me: “You want breakfast for dinner?”
Jay: “Sure.”
[A character in a show we are watching mentions nachos]
Jay: “How about breakfast nachos?”

And thus breakfast nachos were born.

Tortilla Chips
Eggs
Salsa
Sausage
Mexican Shredded Cheese

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were delicious (could have used like 2 more eggs…next time).

He made these up by the way. I married an Iron Chef.

‘Mooning

I’ve been married for 24 days. It’s been pretty awesome so far. It’s also been pretty much the same as before, but without the sword of Damocles dangling above our heads the entire time. So that definitely feels good.

If you are my friend on Facebook or have seen the background of my phone, you’ve probably seen this picture. If not, here is our “main” sort of photo that we’ll also be using for our thank-you cards (we ARE sending them out, just give us some time. Did you think we were going to immediately go home and start writing them?)

Jay’s sister came all the way from California (4 kids and husband in tow) to be there and to be our photographer. She did our engagement photos a year ago this week in California and she does really excellent work. There’s a link to her website on the sidebar of this blog if you’d care to have a look (I may need to update it though).

Kelly, Jay and I want to thank you from the deepest parts of our hearts for doing this for us. We had a great time with everything and we sincerely hope you and your family did to (we all know Kiki did!). Looking forward to the rest of the batch!

Last weekend we went on our honeymoon to the Timber Creek Bed and Breakfast in Paxton, IL. It wasn’t swanky, but it was definitely us. We stayed in the “Rustic Cabin” which was the only lodging separate from the main building where other couples were staying. I had pictures on my phone…and I e-mailed them to myself…but apparently I didn’t. They were mostly of the cabin, the outhouse (oh yes we did) and the various kitty cats who were ambling about the place (including in one of our window boxes):

There wasn’t a ton to DO in Paxton, but we brought games, movies and books to read (and we did all three of them…sometimes at the same time!!). Additionally, there was a used bookstore that we found while searching for the bowling alley. By “bookstore” I mean there was a guy renting out a business space in which he had tables set up alongside the walls with piles of books on them. We spent about $23 on something like 7 or 8 books (and the director’s edition of Bladerunner on VHS). Then we came back to our cozy cabin and read while we ate hot dogs. It was perfect, it was us.

Here’s my plug for the place: If you ever want to have a nice getaway, this place is definitely worth it. It’s about an hour away on Route 9. The lady who runs the place is very nice and makes one hell of a breakfast. And there are kitties everywhere! What’s not to love?!

P.S. If I ever get those pictures I e-mailed to myself in my e-mail, I’ll be sure to post them.

And That’s The End Of That Chapter

For you readers who have been on this ride with me from the beginning, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving purpose to my narrative insanity. It’s for you that I wrote and updated and whenever someone said, “I read your blog,” it made everything even more worth it. So thank you.

For those of you who jumped on the bandwagon later on, I thank you as well. Gaining a following (of any kind) is always a good feeling, and we all know that I needed some good feelings at certain points in this whole process.

Everything on Saturday was perfect. Even the not-so-perfect parts felt perfect, like I couldn’t imagine how that day could have gone any differently or better. Like so many people told me along the way, “As long as you and Jay end up married at the end of it, that’s all you need to worry about.” And we did. So there. ^_^

Kelly took some of the most stunning photos that I’ve ever seen…granted, I’ve only seen one but I know that those that follow will be even better. Some friends took great candids as well. One put them up in time for friends gathered the next morning to view them with fond feelings of accomplishment.

There are no more words that I can share right now that even compare to the experience Jay and I went through to get where we are except for: That was awesome.

P.S. If you gifted us anything at any point in time, you WILL get a Thank You card. Apparently, I was supposed to send them out after each gift-giving session. Where I was expected to have found the time to do THAT I have no idea, but believe me when I say we are ETERNALLY grateful and will be letting you know in the form of a card soon enough.

P.P.S: You will notice that I changed the picture for the header. Feast your eyes upon it.

Redefining “Marriage”

*WARNING: There will be some sap in here towards the end.*

I am still having an internal struggle about being labeled a “married person.” It’s still really freaking weird to me. My entire life, the word “married” was synonymous with “parent…grandparent…grown up.” I don’t want to be any of those things for a good long while and it’s really starting to sink in that I’m getting married 2 weeks from yesterday.

Naturally, I talked with Jay about it. He takes my struggle personally even though he knows he shouldn’t. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way about it, but when you say you struggle with ‘the stigma of marriage,’ it feels like you struggle with the idea of marrying ME.”

I’m slowly realizing that marriage is not the same for everyone. The ceremonies tend to be similar (especially where a church is concerned) and people get married in similar WAYS but the actual marriages vary from couple to couple.

Every couple feels this way about their relationship, but our relationship is so unique, so special, no one in the world can experience what we do with each other. I don’t know why I feel that should change when we get married. If anything, it should become MORE so, which is definitely something to look forward to. We are kids together. We play with each other. He is my best friend and I am his. I would capture the moon for him if he asked me to, I love him that much. (What he would do with the moon I have no idea. Where would we even put it?)

But as I sit in my corner typing this out, he sleeps in our bed after working early this morning. It’s cool in here and the light through the window slants softly into the bedroom onto our rug that we immediately claimed “really ties the room together” as soon as we unrolled it. In these moments I know I am where I’m supposed to be.

Hair, decorations, cake and music kind of pale in comparison.

Invitation Issue

Some people have brought to my attention that they were not aware, or they knew someone who was not aware that the RSVP information is on THE BACK of the invitation. Please flip it over and follow the instructions accordingly. We hope to see you at our wedding and reception and would hate to shortsight your being there due to a simple communications error.

So.

Get that invitation off of your fridge, flip that bad boy over, and send us an e-mail to let us know if you’re coming or not. ^_^

flanaganruddwedding@gmail.com

Have a pleasant week.

Staying Positive in October

On the eve of exactly a month before my wedding, it’s really easy to send myself into a panic-attack. So, I’ve decided to focus on some key events of this month to hold me together. Some really awesome things are happening this October that I’m not sure if you’re aware of, let me map out the month for you:

1st: Wedding shower for me being thrown by a close friend of my mother’s and my coordinating teacher. Should definitely be interesting. ^_^

16th: The Walking Dead: Season 2 is back on AMC

18th: Arkham City is set to release (this is the sequel to Arkham Asylum, one of the most amazing video games of all time. It’s Batman. It’s awesome)

At some point: I believe my friend Nick will be coming back to Illinois from his stint in the Air Force and I am very excited to be able to see him prior to and hopefully at the wedding.

22nd: Seeing “Wicked” in Peoria with my mom and sister. I’ve seen it in Chicago and loved it. Mom read the book and loved it. Good times will be had.

29th: Just getting married to this really awesome guy. You might know him. Tall, red hair, the sun shines out his ass. He’s my best friend and on this day we will pledge to be best friends for much longer than forever…if that’s possible. Well, with him, it FEELS like it’s possible.

31st: Halloween!!

After coming this far with the end (and a new beginning, if we’re staying positive) in sight, I have a tip for you if you want to get married: Save up your money for a few years…

…and hire a wedding planner.

Agnostic Notes on a Christian Conference

Exhaustion is setting in, but we shall prevail!

Last weekend and the weekend before Jay and I spent Saturday in a parish hall attending the Pre-Cana conference and the Christian Sexuality Workshop. They were educational to say the very least. I enjoyed myself for the most part, but I don’t want to do a review of each class, so what I’m going to do is type out some of my notes for you. Yes. I took notes. It’s how I listen and remember ideas that I have mid-lecture. And sometimes it was how Jay and I communicated without being rude.

((Quotes are direct quotes from the speaker or scripture. Things in double parentheses are not notes))

Pre-Cana Conference
-God as a communion of persons: Father/Son/HS –> Combination of flowing and exchanging energies
– Marriage and family as a communion of persons and love.

[If woman was the “crowning jewel,” how is it that she is constantly portrayed as a whore, a snake, evil? Why is she not allowed to do as men do?] ((I was getting at why women can’t be priests, etc)). Jay replied [Because although the Bible is God’s message to man, man still wrote the Bible.]

*Mary “kick starts Jesus’s hour.” At the wedding at Cana, she commands that the staff do as he tells them (and he turns water into wine) –> *Mary isn’t the all-mother simply because she bore Jesus for 9 months. She created an outlet, a path for him to be successful, as mothers do for their children.

– If we have such an opportunity to “communicate ourselves right out of marriage” how/why do we do it? Is human communication compatible with marriage?

– Including Jesus or a God-like figure in a marriage must be like having a built-in, unbiased counselor ((And then I included an image for myself)):
((Jay saw this as incredible sarcasm on my part. There was no reason for him not to think this way, I am sarcastic by nature. But we then had a conversation that followed thusly on his notes page:))

Me: This is not sarcasm
Jay: It seems like a dismissal
Me: More like a realization and a step towards a better understanding of people wanting to include Christ in their marriage.
Jay: The cartoon really doesn’t help.
Me: I had a much more elaborate, artistic vision…but that’s all I could do.

– If there is no marriage in heaven, then what is the point of doing it for people who strive to and believe they will go to Heaven?

Christian Sexuality Workshop
((I was not given a notes page for this workshop which was a real shame because I took 4 pages worth in my notebook))

– John __:__ “…do not pattern yourself after the ways of the world.”

– “Recreational” and “Procreational” are not that different as words. Re- and Pro- are not opposite. In fact I think that Re- is an enabler of Pro-.

– Veils: God veils holy things. Veils in literature and reality. Man with the veil over his and his wife’s bed where sex is holy.

((Then I wrote this mini-diatribe on abortion. It’s not a rant, just a realization about myself. Here’s a taste:))
I’ve realized that I don’t LIKE the idea of abortion. It is sad, unfortunate and dangerous and horrible to do to something “living.” Whether I believe a fetus is “a litving thing” or not is irrelevant. I am not an advocate for abortion. I am pro-choice, but that does not mean I want women to abort when they don’t want their child.
((If you want the whole thing or you want to discuss, hit me up. Just don’t…hit me))

((Everything before lunch was great. I learned a lot, I became much more open to everything that the speaker was offering up regarding sex in my marriage.
But after lunch…he just kept saying the wrong things and showing the wrong images))

((To a slide titled “Benefits of NFP” (natural family planning) with a picture of a couple shopping and laughing together)): Nice rhetorical strategy, Steve.

– Suggestions: Not all women shop at fabric stores, Steve ((I put this on the evaluation sheet))

Me: Did he just plea with us to have children to beat Islam?
Jay: I think so.
((He totally did.))

– Pretty shameless visual rhetoric in the darkened images of contraceptives.

((Oh then. He was talking about how to track fertility and he kept not using clinical terms like penis, uterus, etc which was bogus because he teachers NURSES how to BE NURSES. Anyway, he said that you can tell fertility by the position of the cervix and:))
“The only way to know that is…you have to touch it. And that’s not MY job.”

((I almost flipped my lid right there. The way he said it. Completely dismissing the female genitals as “ucky.” Now, maybe he didn’t mean it like that, but that’s sure as shit how I heard it. Then this written conversation happened)):
Me: “That’s not MY job…” Are you kidding me?!
Jay: Calm down.
Me: He’s kind of integral in having kids. Why would he think it’s not his job?
Jay: That’s his personal view.
Me: The WAY he said it is what I take issue with.
Jay: Again. PERSONAL view.

((Now, I’m not saying he should reach into his wife’s vagina every morning to check if they can have sex that night or not. He just threw his hands into the air as if he had no responsibility in the child-making process at all. And that made me want to shut out everything else he had to say…which turned out to mostly be that condoms and the pill are “evil and the church doesn’t condone evil things.”))

Class Dismissed

I have pictures of some wedding decor, but not with me at the moment. I’ll be sure to post them  next time. Cheerio!

 

It’s All Coming Together

We are getting some serious stuff done. And there is photographic evidence of some of it!

Bridesmaid’s bouquet (by Sarah)

 

 

 

 

My bouquet (by Sarah)

And can I just say, I’m so glad I found those swirly twigs! I think they add an appropriate twist on the traditional bouquet.

 

 

 

Bridesmaid’s dress design (by Sarah)

 

LOVE this. I’m so excited to see them, and also my dress! I have the sketch for that too but I’m not supposed to post that. Bad luck for the groom to see, yadda, yadda, yadda.

We also purchased my wedding band about a week ago! It’s just a silver band, nothing flashy. I want to wear it more than I ever thought I would.

And AAAANNND, our invitations came in the mail yesterday! Vistaprint saved our bank account. $64.00 for 100 invitations and 100 free envelopes. I have to, again, thank Sarah for that because she recommended the site after getting her business cards from them. So yeah, Sarah Hunt-Bollhorst. Getting stuff done. Like a boss.

As for cake stuff, there will be cupcakes. You bet your patootey there will be! And I sampled Jay’s mom’s cookies and cream cupcakes last time I went down there. Omigod. I know what I like and I LOVED them. I hope you will too because she will be baking cupcakes for us (along with anyone else who can donate to the cause. Just check with me first so I know what’s going on with all that). Dee, you are awesome! ❤